


Queen of the Hill

by mandaree1



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Family Relationships - Freeform, Gen, Lisa is a bit awkward with new situations, Luna just goes with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lisa and Luna bond over terrorizing the neighbor kids. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Queen of the Hill

Lisa understood that it was presumptuous to assume any number of her siblings would be waiting around the house on a Saturday, but she still felt her foolish sentiments whither when the only sounds she could make out as she shuffled down the stairs was the tugging of guitar strings.

Luna’s presence, of course, didn’t really surprise her. Her older sister had a habit of appearing in opportune placements, slipping in and out of everyone’s lives without pause. If jealousy was logical, perhaps she would find it in her to be envious of her calm demeanor in the face of this never-ending commotion that was their home. It’s not a logical emotion, however, as emotion rarely are logical; Luna has been around for many more births than Lisa, and has grown accustomed to new mouths to feed at the table. That was all it was.

It was apt that she was given the name Luna, as the moon- with help from the sun- drew the tides at different intensities at it turned; as Luna had a habit of drawing others to her. Not in the same style as Lori, perhaps, nor in the same number, but drawn they are.

Lisa only draws others of her intelligence. Everyone else is required, searching for help, or family. She preferred it this way.

Thankfully, she’s not singing, but merely strumming an idle tune; there’s a certain softness to it, a simplicity, compared to the ear-ripping vibrations she normally produces. It’s normal rock, rather than heavy metal.

“I thought the place was quiet.” She drawls, glancing at her as she takes her usual measured steps to the couch. “Didja turn all your do-hickeys off?”

“Luna,” Lisa says blandly, “I am one of the quietest siblings contained within these walls in which we’re forced to reside until coming of age.” Even though _some_ of them could easily make it on their own, in spite of their small stature, she thought, perhaps a tad bitterly.

“True. But your machines _hum_ , dude.”

True enough. “Mother has requested I withhold all scientific discoveries until tomorrow, as well as pleaded I breathe in allergens and dust, more than the average amount already produced by our domesticated animals, and move around in the outdoors.”

Luna strums once while she talks. “That doesn’t sound like mom.”

“I halted the sanitation of cloth protectors for the cause of science, and was therefore reported to our elders.”

“Did you steal parts from the washer again?”

Lisa cracks a small grin. “Indeed.”

“Nice. Pop a squat?”

Lisa assumes that means sit down, and hops up on the couch accordingly. “I’m not fully educated in the matters of one who does not spend their days making discoveries.”

“Just relax, sis. And have fun.”

“Relaxation is a lie crafted by those who seek out excuses to stare absent-mindedly at walls.”

“Haha, cool.”

Lisa’s eyes narrow. “Luna, do you understand what I just stated, even to the slightest degree?”

“’Course. We usually _do_ know what you’re gettin’ at when you use all that science mumbo-jumbo, by the way. At least vaguely.” Luna leans back and pulls her boots up onto the cushions. The imaginary territory line drawn from gaps in seats and stains made by a variety of stain-including objects is respected, and holds strong, despite her sister’s much longer legs.

“Could have fooled me.”

“Nah. You’re too smart for that.”

Lisa rolls her eyes in such a way that bespoke of a professional level of ability. She masters everything she deems fit of knowing, after all; sarcasm had been high on that proverbial list. “Intelligence does not necessarily compare to understanding, although I am prone to agree with you.”

There’s a form of silence thereafter, in which Lisa contemplates the chemical composition of a well-loved hairbrush floating in a black hole, and Luna plays a song or two on repeat. She’s familiar with the difference between her attempts at “making art” from her simple bored notes; much like when she puts away the more explosive chemicals to instead test various strands of DNA, there’s a change in how she moves and acts.

“Somehow, I doubt this is what she meant when she commanded me to the outside world.”

“Yeah, but as long as you don’t set the house on fire again, it’ll all be fine.”

“I keep telling you; it was Luan.”

“Hmm… Yeah, probably.”

“She’s lucky it was just a fire. She could have forced the removal of the delicate skin that protects the area around her main senses.”

“You mean her face.”

“More than just her face, but it would have been included, yes.”

“You’re one crazy little girl.”

“Thanks.”

“When you finally drop off the deep end and become a supervillain, can I make the background music for your world domination speech?”

Lisa doesn’t have the audacity to answer that. “She also stated something about hovering around kids of average intellect. Hence why I came to you.”

“You make thing blow up, and I make music.” Luna laughs. “Neither of us is exactly normal, dude.”

“She said average. Not normal.”

“That’ll do.”

“I’ve made an equation on how normality is a myth invented by people who want to feel included and presented it to her. She told me I was overthinking her statement.”

“You’re a genius. You overthink _everything_.” Luna says. “That’s, like, the point.”

“True. But now I’m curious to see what “normal” individuals do. The neighbors may provide some answers.” She glanced at her guitar. “A serenade couldn’t hurt.”

“Aw, yeah.” Luna stood, pulling the strap over her shoulder. “Traveling music.”

They aren’t knowledgeable in the affairs of their neighbors as some others may be, so it takes some wandering to find other human beings. She supposes that’s mostly a statement on their part as to how rowdy they are- people have long ago stopped putting them on teams opposite to each other, or so she’s been told- when there’s something to be gained from it. Lisa is not above such discrepancies; none of them are. Even Lincoln, arguably the weakest of them, has no issue with a brawl, should his peaceful tactic go awry

“Wait.” Luna holds a hand in front of her, but doesn’t actually touch her. “We should find something else. This could get messy.”

“You have no evidence to prove that hypothesis as theory.”

“Uh-uh. I know King of the Hill when I see it.”

“As do I.”

“We’re competitive.”

“Incredibly so.”

“Look, dude. I don’t wanna send somebody to the hospital.” She pleads without really pleading.

Lisa dryly raises an eyebrow. “Is that a hint of cowardice I detect, perchance?”

All at once, Luna’s demeanor changes. Her shoulders straighten, nostrils flaring. “Did you just.”

“I believe I did.” She answered, with a self-satisfied nod.

“Be right back.” She turns and marches away. “Gotta lock my axe in my room.”

That’s fair enough, she supposes. Lily has a habit of coloring on things she gets her little hands on.

She returns with two helmets and a determined expression. “If we’re doing this, we doin’ it right.”

“Where did you acquire these?”

“Lynn.” Luna hums, dropping the smaller one onto her cranium. “Brain buckets are good for the family budget. Less health bills.”

“She agreed to let you borrow these?” Lisa straps it into place with a curious look.

“Well, if I asked, she would’ve said no. So I didn’t ask.” Luna shoots her a look. “Always be courteous, you hear?”

“That’s an oxymoron.”

“I’m good at those around shrimpy dudes. We going through with this or not?”

There were only two boys playing; large, flat-nosed creatures, with oddly large fists. They reminded Lisa of the species of males she’s hear her sisters speaking of with grit teeth and narrowed brow. The kind that take their misguided aggression and lack of happiness on the boy’s they’ve deemed too feminine. Like her brother, Lincoln, for example; with his neatness and schedules and disdain for touching slimy things. Luna’s lips tightened, as though remembering far-off memories from long ago.

Lisa could hazard a guess. Luan had been bullied a lot as a child, and no one in this family stood by bullying.

“You got room for two more?”

One of them wipes his nose on his arm and sneers at her. Lisa blankly stares him down, undaunted, although wishing he’d had the decency to get a tissue like any other decent human being. Her brother was a gentleman compared to these cretins. “We don’t go easy on _girls_.”

“Good.” Luna says. “It’s boring when guys do.”

That seems to take him aback, and Lisa silently gives her sister credit where it’s due. No word uttered from her mouth could have ever cut this boy as raw as the simple slang with which she spoke.

“Do we have to?” The second whines. “We don’t know these guys.”

“Following the theory of six degrees of separation, you’re incorrect.”

“Yeah.” Luna nods her head. “What she said.”

Credit removed.

“Come’on, bro.” The first says. Judging by their features, he doesn’t mean in a familial way. “This is a challenge.”

“I know that feel, dude.” Her sister hums, shooting her a look. Lisa wonders if Luna is regretting letting herself be talked into this. She’s not. She’s getting some _very_ interesting notes on the mating habits of the male flesh sack.

“You two know the rules?”

“First to the top wins; anything goes.” Luna recites with a roll of her eyes. “We weren’t born yesterday.”

Speaking of, Lisa wondered how Lily was faring. She’d probably found herself with Lincoln for the day; he had a habit of taking her out for playdates when Lucy broke out a new poetry book. Understandable; her first drafts always needed some revising.

Leni and Lori were probably sapping more brain cells at the mall; a dangerous gamble for the younger of the two. Any more and she may forget how to breathe, and Lisa was too young to lose a sibling she loved. Lynn was playing sports more ferocious than this, no doubt, with no helmet to cover her, and Luan was coming up with a new routine. Lola and Lana were probably playing in the background.

And Luna… Luna was here, with her. For the same reason she appears anywhere that isn’t a concert; for her siblings, to make memories, to have a little non-music related fun.

Somehow, having them all be in different places doesn’t make her feel lonely. Quite the opposite. It seems that, no matter which way she turns, they’ll be there.

How… suffocating.

Luna, the lady of subtlety, rams the first one with her helmeted head. Lisa is not so willing to endanger her intellect on the boy’s hard skull, and tactfully pulls pieces of the pile out to send an avalanche to those below. Unfortunately, the avalanche hits Luna as well, sending her tumbling down. Pity.

“I’m all right!” She calls, sending Lisa a thumbs up.

Lisa steps up to be Queen of the Hill, then blandly climbs back down. Somehow, this isn’t as much fun as she’d hoped it’d be.

“An fascinating study, but with inconclusive results.”

Luna pulls the helmet off with ease. “S’that your way of saying you wanna go home now?”

“Definitely.”

“Gotcha. See ya’, weirdos. Walk it off!” She calls when once groans.

Lisa shuffles, oddly exhausted. She gets up to worse with her siblings, and yet this seems to drag at her limbs. Perhaps it was the socializing.

“Luna?”

“Yeah, dude?”

“You may write the song for global takeover.”

Luna smiles, showing teeth. “Awesome, dude. Thanks.”

“Eh. The publicity’ll do your band some good. What’s a supervillain without her soundtrack, anyway?”

Decent, she supposes. But one without family support? Truly useless. That’s when the betrayal and assassination attempts start.


End file.
